Sometimes after your divorce you find yourself wondering if the choice to end the marriage was the right decision. Now that it's over you are wondering if your spouse was that bad--maybe you are still in love with them and want them back. Think back to what made you want the divorce in the first place. If you still want your spouse, tell them. If not, then take some time to get to know yourself and move forward with your new life. Life is too short to live with regrets.
A lot of spouses regret that they put their career on hold for their family, or that they were not as financially involved in the marriage as they should have been. Many women agree that they put their family's needs above their own and now that they are divorced, they wonder if they had made sure their needs were heard, then the outcome would have been different.
Sometimes, we can get the best advice from divorced people. They have already been there. They understand the regrets and have already thought through what could have been different.
- I could have handled our money better.
- I wish I hadn't taken my spouse for granted.
- I wish I had been able to let go of the past
Unless you are able to be a team working toward the same goals, support each other and forgive and forget the past, then it's time to let go with no regrets. After the divorce, ask your attorney to recommend a counselor you can discuss your feelings with. This is a major life change and you shouldn't feel embarrassed to need counseling.